I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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