In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
