you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize