theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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