the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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