Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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