if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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