I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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