You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
