He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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