So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
