shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
