when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
