ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
