i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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