his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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