Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
