that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
