The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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