I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
