Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
