i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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