Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
