She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
