I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm passing your future prison.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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