Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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