and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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