Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
