dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
