Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
