I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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