And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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