We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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