Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
