I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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