If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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