Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
vagina is talking i cant
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
