So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
