Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
