I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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