There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
