i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
