i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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