i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
