I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I faked an abortion last night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
