would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
