If that was your dad, he is hot
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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