I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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