? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I am in a vortex of obligation.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
