My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if only i could text you this smell
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
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