Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
