It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
