I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
