All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
