Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
