I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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