i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
