Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
