I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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