he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
