As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
