Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
