I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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