It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
